Brandon Jackson

Flex With Benefits (193.46) vs. AK-41 (196.58)

Fuck Chris Godwin.

I understand Justin Jefferson went off too, and Tom Brady was the reason Godwin caught all the passes. But I’m specifically angry at Chris Godwin.

The reason is because I watched him carve up the Atlanta Falcons secondary like Thanksgiving turkey from two weeks ago. Everytime Redzone cut to this game, it was another Godwin reception.

I feel like I watched every single one of those 15 goddamn catches.

I needed to beat you Gary. I wanted that win more than anything. I wanted a chance at that bye week. This was a fight. This was The Rock vs. Stone Cold at WrestleMania.

And I came up short, fair and square. So congrats on the 1 seed. Congrats on the bye.

This ain’t over.

Team Pezzato (167.62) vs. The Ruggs and the Furious (152.48)

Let’s just get it out of the way now.

Marquise.

Paige wins and stays in play for the playoffs – more on that later.

Jonathan Taylor is the fantasy MVP and it’s not close. He’s a steady 20 plus every week at this point.

Herbert finally looked like Herbert again, and since Russell Wilson is finally back, Lockett looked like normal again.

Danny, your team has some dangerous pieces, but when they aren’t all locked in, it could definitely lead to an upset, which we saw here.

Winner Circle Dak Back (128.42) vs. Adrian BeaterSon (140.08)

Good win Max, but I hate to say it, I’ll see y’all next year. Injuries and busts kind of took you both out, but you both kept fighting, and as a commissioner, that’s all I can ask for, so I appreciate that.

So with one week left to go, all I ask is that a lineup gets set, and don’t give out a free win to whoever you play next. Thank you.

Team Hammered Shit (163.32) vs. Josh Allen’s Big Hands (182.46)

I won’t lie, I was rooting against Kevin so I had a chance at the bye week, but it didn’t work out in my favor.

Ryan had a good shot to win here, but an injury, poor play from Patrick Mahomes, and the idiocy of Urban Meyer (again) prevented that from happening.

David Montgomery is a dog. Dionte Johnson is a dog (you’re welcome.) And Keenan Allen is special.

Ryan is still alive in the playoff hunt, and Kevin has a huge matchup coming up next week, more on that later.

lil dickey (120.70) vs. Better Call Wall (130.94)

Shar, I thought my rant about Tyrod Taylor would scare off anyone from getting on that train again.

I know he was injured, but do we think the outcome would have been any better if he was healthy?

Tee Higgins and Matt Stafford were the only people to show up to work Sunday.

Ave didn’t even show up, because he forgot to put his quarterback in the game. And he still won.

Ave must have a fantasy guardian angel or something, because there’s no way you should’ve come out with a victory.

Shar I feel bad that your team is falling apart more and more every week, but the good news is you’re still alive.

Ave, congrats, because with that win, you locked up a playoff spot. Happy you’re still here after you lost half of the squad. You didn’t deserve the year to end that way. But you did deserve to lose this week keeping Minshew on the bench 😂

PLAYOFF RACE

So we currently have 5 teams that have locked up a spot. Gary and Kevin have clinched byes. Me, Danny, and Ave will all finish between 3-5. And that leaves the #6 spot.

Paige is in it currently, and if she wins, she will clinch the spot.

Shar and Ryan are both still alive for it if she loses. The tie breaker is head to head matchups, so I don’t know who would get in if all three ended up with the same record.

So the main point is all three of them need to win this week, and all three have tough matchups. So me, being an actual journalist with a journalism degree, decided to ask them a couple questions about their upcoming matchups and opponents.

They all got the same two questions:

Who in your lineup needs to step up this week?

What is your message to your opponent?

Paige

Team Pezzato vs. Flex With Benefits

“Everyone. I need my whole team to step up because my MVP is on bye.”

“I’m going to try not to yell at you, throw jalepeno ranch chips, start a pillow fight or storm off upstairs… please sit on the chair… it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

Ryan

“I need Jarvis “Bless em” Landry to bring my team to life. He’s had a rough year so far with injuries to both him and Baker but I’m feeling optimistic coming off a bye week against a banged up Ravens secondary.”

“Danny, you and your team make me sick seeing all of those Ravens against our beloved Browns. I think you’ll get what you deserve for your lack of faith.”

Sharlie

“I need Zeke to stop sucking ass.”

“Kevin… that’s klask 🤷‍♀️”

So there we have it folks, the stage is set. Let’s have some fun this week.